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The words that come back are always the same.
When a family decides to trust me, everything starts with one question: how is sleep going? What is weighing on you the most?
“I'd just like to be able to watch a movie in the evening with my partner”
“I love handling bedtime, but it's hard being the only one who can do it — he won't sleep with his dad”
“Bedtime in the evening is exhausting. I'd like to live it with less stress and effort”
“I can't take the night wakings anymore. I haven't slept in months and I'm exhausted”
“It always feels like we're going backwards instead of making progress.”
I've been a sleep consultant for 7 years, and by now I know that those sentences describe the situation, but what really weighs on us is what lies behind them, what we feel. And I know very well that behind these words there's much more than tiredness.
There's insecurity about what to do, among the thousand things you've read or been told.
The feeling of not being able to understand your own child, or to handle sleep.
Feeling stuck between a huge need to sleep and the wish to support your child.
The loneliness of being the only one who can handle bedtime, in the evening or at night.
The need to find each other again as a couple, while you feel more and more distant.
The guilt of losing your patience more than you'd like.
Being a sleep consultant didn't spare me anything.
I had sleep difficulties too, with both of my children. Nursing to sleep, sleeping only in contact, long bedtimes, not being able to let their dad put them to sleep, exhausting ways of falling asleep.
My partner and I had to work on it a lot, and as a mom I too got overwhelmed by tiredness and emotions, exactly like you.
Sometimes it was easy. Other times not at all. Sometimes I wanted to change things but felt stuck, because I was so tired I couldn't find the energy to choose to do it.
I know what it means to have to commit and not feel like it. I know what it means.
But I also know what it means to finally live sleep well.
I know that choosing to change things can sometimes feel heavy, but I also know what it's like to find yourself on the other side. I know the difference it makes to face the challenges of parenthood when you're rested, because yes, let's say it: sleeping well plays an incredible role in how we manage to be the parents we want to be for our children.
Imagine…
- not feeling anxious at the thought of having to put them to sleep in the evening.
- no longer describing the night like a war report.
- being on the couch in the evening watching a movie with your partner, instead of being stuck in bed with the kids because otherwise they wake up, or crashing before it even starts.
- trusting your instinct again, without waiting for anyone's permission, confident in how you're handling your child's sleep.
Choosing to start isn't always easy, but what's waiting for you is worth it. Try to imagine it.
How you live sleep.
The way you look at it changes. And from there, sleep follows.
I'm not promising you a result within a timeframe, and personally I wouldn't trust anyone who does, because a program that doesn't involve leaving them to cry doesn't always solve everything in 3 days — it respects the pace and the ways of every family, child and parent, and each one has their own (but don't imagine endless timelines either: the average is 2 weeks… just to give you an idea).
Sleep doesn't depend only on schedules, routines and wake windows, even if it seems that way, and even if that's what everyone talks to you about. Of course they matter, but it all starts from how sleep is experienced.
It depends on how safe a child feels. On how safe we feel. On what happened during the day. On the expectations we have and that, without meaning to, we place on them. On their experiences, on ours, on our relationships and even on the birth experience.
And when you decide to do a sleep program, if it's done well, you think you're working on night wakings or on falling asleep, but in reality you're working on much more.
You'll think you're doing a sleep program, but you'll be doing so much more…
“It had been two years since I'd watched a movie with my husband in the evening. Even just for that, thank you.”
Samantha · mom of Alessio, 7 months
“It's not just a sleep program, it's a journey as a couple, a journey in my relationship with my kids. I learned to be there for them.”
Alice · mom of Michelle and Joy, 20 months
“You saved our relationship. Tiredness was pushing us to the limit. We didn't work on sleep, we worked on something else, and you saved us.”
Laura and Andrea · parents of Gregorio, 13 months
“Just doing the consultation with you was worth every penny. I felt understood like never before, and the confidence you gave me truly changed everything from that very day. Solving the night wakings was the result, but the real victory is what I now carry inside.”
Alessandra · mom of Leonardo, 3 years
How the program works.
Setting the right foundations
A module to help you better understand what lies behind your child's sleep and their needs, based on their age. We set the right foundations not to be rigid about schedules and routines, but to build a positive association with bedtime, for children and parents.
- bedtime routine
- managing the day
- daytime sleep
Night wakings
Let's get clear on natural wakings and wakings out of need. I'll help you understand why your child wakes up and, of course, how to respond, with practical strategies to reduce or eliminate them.
- why they wake up
- how to handle them
- reduce or eliminate them
Separating feeding from sleep
A module for those who put their child to sleep at the breast or with a bottle and would like other ways. You won't have to stop breastfeeding (unless you want to), you won't have to leave them to cry, and you won't have to force anything. It's often a delicate step for both children and moms, and we'll treat it with all the respect it deserves.
- breast
- bottle
Ways of falling asleep
A fully practical module to guide you step by step from how your child falls asleep today to the way you'd like, whatever it is. You'll find videos of me showing you, step by step, how to do it in practice. There are no rules about what you ‘must’ do. Falling asleep independently, in arms, in the crib, lying down next to them… you'll find the information to do it all, but you choose the way you want to reach.
- falling asleep independently
- crib
- lying next to them
- in arms
Deep dives
A module to explore some important topics, like bedtime with dads, dropping naps as they grow, the arrival of a sibling and more. It's a module that grows with your requests. Every family in my program can ask for a deep dive if they don't find an answer in the program, and they're all added here. This goes for you too, which is why you'll surely find the answer you're looking for.
5 months–6 years
Coming soon.
The English program is moving to our new platform. If you'd like to know when it opens, write to us and we'll let you know.
Write to usIt's for you if…
- ·you want to work on sleep gradually and respectfully
- ·you care about your child's needs and you're not interested in ‘doing it fast’ but in ‘doing it with respect’
- ·you don't want your child to cry
- ·you want to keep respecting your child's needs while also giving space and voice to yours
It's not for you if…
- ·you need or want to do everything quickly
- ·you think this program is a magic wand that will solve things for you
- ·your child is younger than 5 months
The questions I'm asked most often.
How long does it take?
The program usually wraps up in a couple of weeks, but I don't want you to have to rush. I don't promise you a timeline: a program without crying respects the pace of every child and every parent, and every family has its own.
What if I've already tried lots of things without results?
It happens more often than you think. Many families come here after books, online advice or other programs without the changes they hoped for. It doesn't mean you got everything wrong or that your child “can't sleep”: often some pieces of the puzzle were missing, or they weren't adapted to your situation.
Do I have to stop breastfeeding to work on sleep?
Absolutely not. In the program you'll never be told to stop breastfeeding, unless it's something you want. Many of the families I work with keep breastfeeding peacefully while they work on sleep.
What if my child has a very strong personality?
I hear this a lot. Every child has their own temperament: some are more sensitive, some more determined, some need more presence. But the same goes for us parents. None of you has the same situation, the same experiences, the same fears or the same way of living the program. The program doesn't start from the idea that all children are the same: it gives you tools to understand your child and how they react, and it takes your emotions and needs into account.
What if I'm on my own, without my partner's support?
Both parents don't need to work on the program: you'll find tools you can use on your own too. If your partner joins in, there are strategies to work together and take turns. And if you're on your own with 2+ children, there's a whole deep dive just for you.
A hug, Federica
